Well, it seems that despite our confident prediction that The Wanted were not going to do too well with their debut single, it appears we may possibly have been slightly mistaken*.

*completely wrong

It is currently running away with the number 1 single position, despite the video being very, very grey with lots of pouting and seriousness, and the song being sort of Coldplay meets Veronicas meets Take That (obvs all good reference points, but a little grown up for starters).

The Sun’s bizarre section runs a helpful article today which introduces the band to its readers, and concludes with the delightful statement that “all they need to complete the boyband formula is to start bending one in one of The Saturdays”. And they say journalism is dead.

It does indeed seem that the boyband is well and truly back in business, and this can only be a good thing. Schools tours promoting safe sex and say no to drugs (consistently reinforced on the bands’ subsequent tours of course), the return of the Smash Hits Pollwinners Party and hopefully, in due course, a succession of not-quite-as-good-but-capable-of-the-odd-amazing-tune-bands put together by dodgy managers. We cannot wait. If all goes to plan, maybe we can hope for tracks as good as these…..

WARNING: STRANGE VIDEO VERSION OF THIS AS SONY WON’T LET EMBEDDING :-(

PLEASE CAN THE CURTAINS HAIRSTYLE MAKE A COMEBACK PLEASE. THANKYOU

This is the new video from Same Difference. Yes, Same Difference.

Key points

-Opens with a shot of a disco ball

-They look cool

-There’s lots of big synths

-You know the chorus after one listen

Do we need anything else from a pop band? Nope, didn’t think so.

Well done everyone. Well done.

Selena Gomez turned 18 the other day, and got TWO brilliant cakes. She can have her cake and eat the other. Or something.

But Selena isn’t the first popstar to pose with some excellent baked goods:

Oh Miley, your new raunchy image will only end in tiers.

If (tiramis)U Seek Amy

Cali-petitsfours-nia Girls

All of which reminds us, it’s Love Machine’s first birthday in September. If anyone could arrange for Irwin Hoosier to jump out of a cake that’d be great, ta.

Some of you may have noticed that the Mercury Music prize nominations were announced today. To those of you reading this, congratulations for waking up after your snooze. In one of the greatest years for pop, and one of the dullest for indie in the last decade, only Dizzee gets a nomination and Mumford et al are there in abundance.

Clearly the nation needs an alternative.

Unfortunately for us, a certain amazing website got there first.

However, we have decided to do a full on anti-Mercurys…..in our near-year of running the incredible Love Machine club, we have learnt a thing or two about banging party-starting pop tunes, so our shortlist is the opposite to the dinner-party soundtrack of the Mercury nominations: ie. the 12 biggest floorfillers of the last 12 months aka the Love Machine Dancefloor Destroyer Prize 2010. The winner will be decided on our next night, on August 6th at The Monarch. Each song will be judged by the following criteria:

-No. of girls on podium
-Volume of ‘taaaayyoooooon’ shouted within the first 3 seconds of the track
-No. of girls kissing on podium
-Peak amount of fists in the air at any point within the track
-Reaction of Serbian doorman who is a huge Madonna fan and clearly knows his pop music

Here is the list of British pop bangers of the last 12 months. Let us know if we have made any glaring errors (we haven’t)

Tinie Tempah - Pass Out
Alexandra Burke - Bad Boys
Example - Won’t Go Quietly
Mini Viva - Left My Heart in Tokyo
JLS - Everybody in Love
Cheryl Cole - Fight For This Love (Moto Blanco Club Mix)
Sugababes - Get Sexy
Professor Green - Need You Tonight
Freemasons ft. Sophie Ellis Bextor - Heartbreak Make Me a Dancer
Ellie Goulding - Starry Eyed (Russ Chimes Remix)
Tinchy Stryder ft. Amelle - Never Leave You
The Saturdays - Ego

You can listen to all the nominations HERE on our handy spotify playlist (the Cardio Workout Crew version of Won’t Go Quietly will have to do we’re afraid)

The prize for Best Legs in Pop 2010 will also be decided on the night. The nominations are below:

Sophie Ellis Bextor


Let battle commence.