Love Machine

Is there anything Cheryl Cole can’t do (or won’t put her name to?) This week saw the launch of her very first shoe collection for Stylist Pick and while most of us would rather she released a new album and everyone crosses their fingers for that Girls Aloud reunion, it looks like that as with everything Cheryl touches - The X Factor USA excepted - her first foray into fashion will turn to gold.

We know these sidelines are considered almost rites of passage for popstars of a certain calibre, but when should they have just stuck to the day job? Fear not readers. Love Machine have come up with a scientific way to decide which musicians are cut out for style and which should just stick to making music. Basically we shout YES or NO, but there’s some science in there somewhere…

GWEN STEFANI - L.A.M.B

Already off to a promising start due to the fact that Gwen named her fashion label after her rather excellent first solo album, as far as we know this is positively thriving. There is also a less expensive spin-off line, Harujuku Lovers which started as “kawaii” focused clothes for teenage fans and is now the brand under which Gwen’s fragrances are released. This year, Gwen also launched Harujuku Mini for children. Meanwhile, there is no sign of the new No Doubt album or a third Gwen solo record… We’ll have to dock points for that.
LM verdict? SUCCESSFUL AT BOTH 

BEYONCE - HOUSE OF DEREON

We don’t think anyone other than Beyoncé, her mum and her sister actually wear House Of Dereon, and we’re pretty sure that even Solange quit this ish a long time ago. Considering how even the weakest Beyoncé output is celebrated to a crazy degree, it’s kinda weird that her clothing line would be such a flop. Why aren’t women everywhere queuing round the block to get some of that bootylicious magic?
LM verdict? INCONSEQUENTIAL 

VICTORIA BECKHAM - VICTORIA BECKHAM

Victoria Beckham is notorious in pop circles for being the only Spice Girl who failed to achieve a solo #1. It seems that Vicky B’s failure to kick start her music career galvanised her real ambition to be a fashion designer because nowadays Victoria Beckham is a respected label worn by many a celebrity for TV appearances and red carpet events. It’s been a bit of a struggle to get there (does anyone remember those tacky Rock & Republic jeans from 2004?) but we’re sure Posh reckons it was all well worth the effort.
LM verdict? BETTER OFF IN FASHION

JENNIFER LOPEZ - JLO

Despite having the most colourful logo of everyone on our list, Jennifer Lopez didn’t do fantastically with her clothing line. In fact there were two - JLO and Sweetface - which adhered to J.Lo’s fashion sense at the time - we seem to remember there was a VELOUR TRACKSUIT in the first collection - but neither have survived. JLO wrapped in 2007 and Sweetface also closed down production in 2009. Jennifer has recently admitted that she didn’t have a clue what she was doing when she launched these labels, but that’s no excuse really, is it Jenny? Apparently a collection for teens still exists called JustSweet but that’s no good for us when we’re shopping for our next Club Love Machine outfit :(
LM verdict? STICK TO BEING A POPSTAR

JESSICA SIMPSON - THE JESSICA SIMPSON COLLECTION 

Jessica Simpson hasn’t really been anything but tabloid fodder since her break up with Nick Lachey, but did you know her fashion line, the Jessica Simpson Collection was projected to generate $1 BILLION this year? Now, Jessica’s musical career isn’t actually anything to sniff at (she’s had two multi-platinum selling albums) but clearly fashion was where her talent lay all along. This from the girl who thought tuna was chicken. The mind boggles.
LM verdict? BETTER OFF IN FASHION 

BONG!

• Katy Perry drops a teaser for the ‘Last Friday Night’ video, with Rebecca Black and Hanson [via PopCrush]

BONG!

• Britney views her Femme Fatale tour stage for the first time [via Perez Hilton]

BONG!

• Nicola Roberts vs. Tracy Jordan’s wife - ‘Beat Of My Hayum’ [via YouTube]

BONG!

• Gwen Stefani’s solo career is over [via Digital Spy]

BONG!

• Mel C reveals video for new single ‘Rock Me’ [via YouTube]

BONG!

• Michael Jackson’s red leather jacket from the ‘Thriller’ video is up for auction [via Music-News]

Gwen Stefani - ‘Rich Girl’ feat. Eve