Love Machine

Albums by Kylie and Scissor Sisters. The continued chart domination of dishwater American R’n’B. The rise of synthtastic British talent like Example and Hurts. Matt Cardle. Yes, delving into our drawer of end-of-year cliches, we proclaim 2010 in pop to be ‘a mixed bag’. If you’re after an executive summary, basically lots of things were very good indeed, but nothing was as good as Battlefield by Jordin Sparks.

We’ve gone through the archives to pick out the absolute highlights (and lowlights) of the year, and you can also also check out our Spotify playlist of all our 2010 highlights, including several tracks from our favourite new band, Cardio Workout Crew.

While preparing this list, we listened back to our 2009 highlights playlist to see how it stood up. In a word, surprisingly dated.

So here are those winners in full:

The ‘Chuck out the Tesco application form’ award for best comeback of the year
Take That, The Flood

The ‘Rave keys and swooshes ahoy’ award for banging remix of the year
Russ Chimes, Starry Eyed

The ‘Come back T-Pain, all is forgiven’ award for song that really, really can’t be performed live very well
Katy Perry, Firework

The ‘Travis-doing-Britney’ award for best surprising yet ultimately quite good cover
Joe McElderry, Ambitions

The ‘Cross-brand synergistic asset exploitation’ award for painfully shoehorned rap to introduce an artist to the US market
The Saturdays ft. Flo Rida, Higher

Honourable mention: Alexandra Burke ft. Pitbull, ‘All Night Long’

The ‘Well this is quite jolly’ award for Love Machine dancefloor destruction
Swedish House Mafia ft. Tinie Tempah, Miami 2 Ibiza

The ‘RedOne’ award for relentless self-promotion
Jason DeRulo, Whatcha Say

The ‘Please God don’t be another Orson’ award for best debut single
Ed Drewett, Champagne Lemonade

Honourable mention: Bright Light Bright Light, ‘Love Part II’

And finally…

The ‘Dear God I want to rip my arm off and beat myself over the head with it just to take my mind off this godawful song’ award for the worst pop song of the year
Travie McCoy, Billionnaire

Honourable mentions: Owl City ‘Fireflies’, Florence and the Machine ‘You’ve Got The Love’

The ‘Euphoric air-punching on the night bus’ award for the absolute best pop song of 2010
Rihanna, Only Girl In The World

Honourable mentions: Tinie Tempah ‘Pass Out’, Katy Perry ‘Teenage Dream’

So there you go. Sort yourself out 2011, you’ve got a lot to live up to…

Selena Gomez turned 18 the other day, and got TWO brilliant cakes. She can have her cake and eat the other. Or something.

But Selena isn’t the first popstar to pose with some excellent baked goods:

Oh Miley, your new raunchy image will only end in tiers.

If (tiramis)U Seek Amy

Cali-petitsfours-nia Girls

All of which reminds us, it’s Love Machine’s first birthday in September. If anyone could arrange for Irwin Hoosier to jump out of a cake that’d be great, ta.

We may have mentioned once or twice that we enjoy the music of The Hoosiers, and we’ve been known to have stand-up rows with anyone who feels otherwise. So imagine our delight when Irwin and the boys wasted valuable studio time answering our stupid questions ahead of their DJ set at Love Machine this evening. If the album release date ends up getting pushed back, you know who to blame.

Hello The Hoosiers! How are you?

A 3-piece from … sorry I thought you said “who”.

We literally could not be more excited about your DJ set at Love Machine on Friday. What are your surefire crowdpleasers of the night?

Anything by Mogwai and Belle & Sebastian. Nope really - we will tailor our sounds to your poptastic aims. No idea yet though! Probably some Shakira though.

What are your DJ names? You need something to top MC Margaret Scratcher and DJ Shadow Cabinet.

I may borrow my Scottish pal - Andrew McClaughlin’s (cunningly nicknamed “Mc” (pron: “muk”) of “M.C Mc”. Only really works when written down and even then, barely.

When we’ve finished being excited about your DJ set we’ll crack on with being excited about your second album. Please tell us something about it which you’ve not told anyone so far.

It only took us 3 years to make but that’s down to us learning each other’s instruments and swapping instruments owing to our wanting a deeper-understanding of each other’s work-lives, as advised by our marriage-guidance counsellor: ALL the true great bands have them to enhance inter-bandmember relations.

We were talking about you the other day and our 6 year old cousin started singing Goodbye Mr A. We were very proud. What songs have you been singing around the house recently?

Ahhh, that is delightful. The theme tune from The Flumps for reasons unknown.

Please give us your band projections for 2010, 2011 and 2012.

Scouting for Girls will run the world, aided by a breed of subservient ant they’ve been working on in between band practises.

Who is your favourite Saturday?

The 3rd May.

Knowing my luck, that’s a Tuesday.

Thank you The Hoosiers!

For more information about what’s shaping up to be the biggest Love Machine party yet (tonight at The Monarch, did we mention that?) look here, then join the Facebook event here. See you at the bar!

If you came to Love Machine last Friday, you will have seen:

Fabio Lendrum DJing: phwoar eh ladies?



Anders R from Alphabeat doing a stonking set:



Lots of people dancing:



Well on Friday 5 March WE’RE ONLY BLOODY DOING IT ALL AGAIN, and this time we’ve gone and got a guest DJ slot from the bloody Hoosiers.

All this, and an advance ticket is a mere £3. Ridiculous.

Check the club page for full details, and go here to buy your ticket before it’s too late.